I've read mixed reviews in which people like this book or they hate it.

I honestly get why some people hated this book. And I also get why some loved it.

If you want to read it, perhaps you should check out some trigger warnings.

This book doesn't have this big ass and really planned plot. On the surface it's just: "I'm gonna take a lot of pills and I'm gonna sleep for a year". I saw it as: "I'm unhappy and unsatisfied with the life I'm living right now and I need a change. I'm gonna take some pills and I'm gonna sleep until I feel better".

This is about a white woman, really beautiful, blonde and with a hot model body, who's also rich and privileged who wants to renovate herself... And I can't blame her. If I were her, I would do the same thing, if I had that amount of money (which I'll never have, lmao).

I liked the way depression is portrayed here, it felt real and it was not forced or even like a goddamn cliché. The dullness of emotions here (perhaps not the lack of them, but dullness) it's well delivered, because depression it's not about crying the whole time, it's also the fact of feeling nothing at all. I find myself in this selfish and tired woman. I've been there so many times that I was like "huh, is this book about someone else or about me?" in some aspects.

Depressed people sometimes don't have the energy to even go out from their beds and do something. It takes a lot of energy that we don't have.

The day before yesterday, I had this massive mental breakdown, in which I didn't get up from my bed and I slept 14 goddamn hours. I wanted to cry, to scream and to feel something, even if it was small... But I didn't feel any thing. My refugee was to sleep that day, so I couldn't feel at all. It worked? Yeah, only for 14 hours, and then the world fell on me like a big burden. The first thing I did after waking up was pick up this book and continue it... Was it a good idea? Perhaps, because in some way, I knew I wasn't alone feeling like this.

Despite of having luxuries that some of us want, this woman is not enjoying it. She's privileged, as she says many times, there's no placer in spending money in things like clothes, manicures, accessories, doing her hair, etc. Having a lot of money and a good position doesn't mean that you're actually happy... It shows depression, dark humor, 2000's references, the abuse of pills, a big ass amount of sleep, weird dreams and more.

I found myself being a little bit like our mc: grumpy, rude sometimes, selfish and trying to escape from her ugly world and reality. This book has some interesting layers that makes us try to understand the mc, why she made that decision and how she is feeling. Yeah, sometimes she's a bitch and says things without filter, and I can honestly relate with her in that part: not always we're gonna be sunshines. However, people don't deserve our mean words or actions.

I felt bad for Reva, if I'm being honest. I didn't see that coming.

Anyways, this is now one of my faves and definitely a re-read for the future!