Hey there, bookworms!
This is the oficially very first time that I'm posting my work in progress and not regretting it (let's hope) and I'm very very very nervous about it.
Why, you ask? Well, I'm a insecure person and I overthink. Like a lot. So, sometimes I think my work isn't good enough to be published or to see the light of the day. Maybe it's the fact that I already know what's gonna happen and I've read my drafts over and over and over and perhaps I'm tired of not feeling it good enough.
But, let's not get sad because we're not here for it.
Here's a little bit of storytime so you can understand why posting my writing means the world to me. For some people, it might look like something normal, or exagerated even, but I'm shaking while writing this, haha.
A few years ago, back when I was like 15 or 16 years old, I was in a really really really dark and bad place. I was depressed af (I'm still am, but not like at that age anymore), I was sick and tired of me and everything around me; maybe some of y'all know how it feels. I can't even put it into words because I don't want to remember how sad and depressed I was, how much pain I was keeping on my heart. But, by that age, I found a reason to live: books.
Weird, isn't it?
In a big way, books saved me and I owe too much to my favorite books at that age. After a while, I found out that writing was my way to express what I was feeling, I was not exactly explaining everything I was going through, but I put it in words of fiction: I created characters that have a big part of me.
At first, it wans't great and I never meant to publish anything of it (I didn't even dream with being a writer, lol), or to keep it. But one day, I decided that I wanted to write a science fiction book. So, I started to develop and perfection my characters, I added and took out some of them. I gave them pasts, relationships and emotions that I feel very real. Basically I watched them grow and become the masterpiece that they're now (books and characters) and I'm so fucking proud of myself, because I never thought I could do this.
Many of my characters have many of my emotions, thoughts, parts of my personality, etc. They're filled with rage, hatred, loneliness, sadness, hope, love, joy, disappointments, etc. They're my kids and... well, think about them makes me happy, because only I know how many hours I've inevsted on them, creating them from scratch, thinking about their pasts, their families, relationships, their decisions and futures. Perhaps it'll look like something emotional or stupid, but now I'm crying writing this, because it's the work of my life.
A friend has read the first draft and it wasn't even finished because I was thinking about giving up (can y'all believe it? me, quiting the work of my life? I was back on a dark place by then), and she told me "If you give up on this, I'll kill you." and that was it. I remember that that night, I bought junk food (yes, I was high on sugar) and I got inspired to write. I reread my draft and cried for hours (I'm such a crybaby, mind you) because I was thinking on giving up, when I already spent 4 years on my career and when I'm thinking about getting out of this country and publish my books (in my country, people don't like to read a lot, even less science fiction, which is sad).
I told to myself: "No, you're not givin up. Not when you've spent hours of your life creating these plots, developing your characters, and writing many pages. You won't quit to this because in some years, you'll regret it."
So, yeah, my work may not be perfect or a masterpiece (only to my eyes, lmao), but it's mine and I'm so so so proud of myself because after years of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, I figured it out and once I did it, it was easy to picture myself finishing this series (they're like 11 books hahaha) and being happy with it.
I might never get to be published or become a bestseller, but I'll be able to say "I did it" and be okay with it.
Now that I'm over with my sad/emotional/weird-ass storytime, at the end of the post will be the link of my AO3 where I'll be publishing my first book. Mind you, it's written in Spanish (my native tongue), so I have to translate every chapter to English, please be patient.
I'm open to feedback and criticism (please, be gentle because I'm emotional lol) and feel free to make comments! Enjoy and let me know if you like it!!!
PD: my work has some trigger warnings, be careful! <3
8 comments
ahhh not me crying while reading the post pls
ResponderBorrarso so proud <3 I'm glad you're in a better place and doing what you love, neverrrrr give uppppppp
I already had your book in my tbr but now it's definitely going to hit different when I read it 🥺🤍
also if you ever decide to post the Spanish edition let me know, I'd love to read the original version too!
-Cindy (from Goodreads haha)
Awwww, Cindy. I'm sending you tons of hugs and love. Thank you for this: for your words and support. As I said on GR, your words mean a lot to me and I'm really really grateful for this. Oh, no, I'll never give up on this 🥺🥺
BorrarILYSMMMM <3
Ale, the emotions I'm feeling- aaghh
ResponderBorrarYou deserve every happiness in your life and more.
Truly, you are an amazing, wonderful beauty, who I have pleasure to read such greatly crafted work and writing. Believe in yourself because I know I do and always will. Keep going, beautiful
Omg, I'm sobbing. Thank you so much, Ruqayyah <3 <3 You're really sweet and a wonderful person. I really appreciate your words. ILYSM <3
BorrarAnd also, it's a blessing to see someone who loves and appreciates books like I do
ResponderBorrarLove you xx
Hi beautiful!
ResponderBorrarCan you please put a link of your AO3 writing? I haven't bookmarked it!
Hi, there! https://archiveofourown.org/works/37948498/chapters/94774240 here is it!
BorrarExcellent writing! David
ResponderBorrar